This post is not going to be one of my creative writing ventures this time. Merely a written reminder of some behaviors I believe God has opened my eyes to and wants to correct me on. By putting it in writing, I'm hoping it will make me even more aware of these things so that I will change.
First of all, lately I've been griping and complaining more than usual. About my job, my finances, my social life or lack of, and other things I'm sure. No, it's not fun working at a job for $10/hour that I invested $40,000 to be able to do. It's not fun working second-shift in the heat, walking and sitting in sweat-soaked clothes, getting some sort of head cold and infection in my neck and having to deal with loud noise in the plane four hours a day. And doing it all for $10/hour. It's not the most exciting life I lead right now socially. It would be nice to have an extra day off now and then, or to feel free to call in sick once in a while without worrying about if it would get me fired. It's true that these are not optimal circumstances. But what was it I reminded a friend of just recently as she goes through her divorce? God is in control. My Father, her Father - He knows our circumstances, and He knows His plans for us. What we are going through right now - good and bad - it's all subject to His authority and permission to happen. Although I see no light at the end of the career tunnel for myself, I see no happy financial future for myself, God is in control of all these things. My griping and complaining only reveals my lack of trust in His love for me and His ability to mold and shape my future according to His divine plans. Remember to trust in Him, and I will not be so tempted to gripe and complain. You are in His strong hands.
Envy - I never would've thought that to be a problem for me, but God has shown me that it is. It dawned on me one evening while flying home and looking down on someone's nice home and yard. Somewhere out in the country, with a refreshing pool in their backyard, with plenty of wooded acreage around them. And I was thinking why them and not me? Why all those people down there have more than me and can afford to take nice vacations and lounge around without having to worry about how they are going to pay next months or even next year's bills. And I realized how bitter and sour my attitude has become in that regard. Instead of being thankful for what God has given me, which is a radically better life than what I had a year ago, I work myself into an ungrateful attitude, not only envious of what others have, but even worse in my opinion, snubbing my nose at what my Father and Jesus have done for me already! Kids are pretty cute most of the time in my opinion, but one of the ugliest things in this world is to see a child who is selfish, and ungrateful for what his parents and others do for him. That little brat who kicks and screams because his mom won't buy him a toy or candy bar in the store when he's got 10 million toys at home already and she's got a cart full of yummy food and treats for him right in front of his spoiled-brat face! I'll tell you what, whenever I see that, I always think if that was my kid, I'd burn his little behind! And then I'd give him lima beans and warm milk for dinner that night! Okay, maybe I wouldn't go quite that far, but I'd definitely set his tail on fire if he treated his mother that way. The little ungrateful brat! Oh, and I'd take away a few of his toys. As you can see, I don't like to see little kids act like ingrates (Is that a word?). Anyway, I imagine that's how I've been behaving in my Father's eyes. Yuck! He's been nice to me in just showing me how I've been acting instead of giving me the Shannon-treatment for dealing with spoiled-brats.
Anyway, that's about all. Just wanted to remind myself of these things so that I'll change and do better in the future. Thank You, Father for pointing them out to me so I can be a better son to You.
