Saturday, March 10, 2007

Some Happy Thoughts in an Unhappy Time

Well, here I sit in the Computer Room at Flight Safety, feeling like I'm within a week or so of being out of a job. I came into the sim, gave what I thought was a much improved effort, and my instructor, who is going through his student teaching qualifications, had virtually nothing good to say about my performance in the debriefing. I gave the best I could and it didn't even qualify for a "nice improvement" in his mind. There seems to be absolutely no acknowledgement on his part of where I'm coming from in this whole training process. Of course, I understand he's given certain parameters to work with. I don't know; it's just pretty discouraging. And I feel his growing pains as a teacher is hurting my progress as his student. I feel like crap right now. Anyway, onto nicer thoughts....

With all the discouragement I'm facing right now, I thought I'd finally try and write my much needed entry about things that I like and thoughts that make me happy. A few....

Cheyenne pawing at the door and whining because she wants in 5 minutes after someone just let her out. She looks so innocent and pitiful. What a beautiful dog she is.

Jinengi (our black lab, greyhound mutt) jumping up and down, her tail wagging, shaking the rest of her body, and smacking everything in its path. No matter what kind of day it's been, it's comforting to know how excited she is to see me.

My sunflowers that I planted a couple months before and now smiling at me and smelling good. They are such happy flowers.

A little baby crying its lungs out in the middle of a church service, its embarrassed Mommy and Daddy fumbling around trying to quieten him or her down, while others sit and quietly chuckle at the cute little monster and how it has taken charge of the service for a few moments.

That refreshed feeling after having a long talk with God and knowing that I'm forgiven, no matter what it is I did and no matter what anyone else may think of me or the consequences I may face. Nothing, no one can take away that refreshed, white as snow, clean-slate feeling I have with Him.

A cute dark-haired chickie. I don't think it's necessary to add anything more to that one. She speaks for herself.

The laughter and playfulness of a 3-year old girl. Little Bailey comes to mind, as does the thought of what my Little Lina would be like at that age.

Victory against a good friend, or better yet, my brother in a game. And my brother told me not too long ago that whenever we play against each other at anything, even if there are other people playing, he wants so badly to beat me. I never realized how much he wants to beat his big brother. That makes it even more fun when I beat him!

Watching my brother experience victory, especially when he beats his big brother. Sometimes it's more fun to see him win than for me to win. I love him to death.

The thrill of successfully completing a flight in bad weather. It makes me feel like a real pilot.

Seeing a friend's eyes light up when I surprise them with a gift or by doing something for them. It doesn't happen often enough on my part, but when I do it, it's a great feeling. I always think of the time I drove to Florida for Gladys' birthday and surprised her at her work with a stuffed Duck teddy bear. I still smile when I picture that little-kid glow on her face.

Being inundated with the sound of a rocking band and watching a good guitar player at his craft. I love watching the hands and trying to get the rhythm. It's awesome.

The smell of leaves in the fall. I love that musty smell. A giant pile of them is best, where you can jump in and out of them, stuff each other's clothes with them and get each other all wet and smelly and itchy. I love it. I love that time of year.

Surprise food from friends, random food at FBOs or from anywhere really. Someone bringing home leftovers, or eating my own leftovers later that night or the next day while watching a good war movie. Aaahhh, I love food.

War movies. Like the cute dark-haired chickie, they speak for themselves :)

Well, you all have a good night and I'm going to try to go home with these happy thoughts....