Bashing Session
I’m feeling like an idiot. Not because I am in a horrible mood or a self-pitying mood, but, rather simply because I am one. I think I could find several people to agree with me on this.
Why do we do things to hurt ourselves? Why? I want to know. Why do I keep my vision focused no further than 2 steps in front of me instead of looking further down the road when I weigh my decisions? I waste time. I have wasted so much of my life away. Even when God has shown me the error of my ways and given me opportunities to straighten my path, I stray again. Like an idiot. A big fat idiot. Why is it that others can see our blind spots, but the one person whom they affect the most, cannot? That’s why they call them blind spots, idiot. If I could see my blind spots they would be called “seeing spots”. Whatever. I’m an idiot.
You know what is really frustrating? When you start to hear friends and family members tell you the same things over and over about yourself, and yet you feel so blind and powerless to change. No, that is not a good feeling at all.
Sometimes I am so willing to give advice to friends or family, but even as I give it, it’s almost as if I am speaking a prophecy of the advice I’m going to need myself within a few days of giving it to someone else. I think maybe if I would keep my mouth shut more often with my friends and instead give myself a lecture every now and then, we’d all be better off.
And lets talk about relationships for a brief minute. Wow, now here’s an area where I am the king and queen of idiots. The screwed-up relationships in my life were the basis I used for my application to the Loser Club that Michelle, Simon and I started. At one point I was even the president due to the fact that I had almost no social life, no money, no career….not to mention all the bad decisions I’d made to help me reach such a highly-esteemed position. I relinquished the position for a while, but I think judging from recent events I may just have the credentials to run for a second term as the Loser Club President. I’m an idiot. For all the brains I’ve got, I’ve done diddly squat with them. I’d trade some of that IQ I like to brag and joke about for some better decision-making skills in life.
Boy, I’m in a bad mood. I reckon I’m going to post this to my blog, but I’m thinking I might have to delete it after a while. This is just too depressing.
Why do we do things to hurt ourselves? Why? I want to know. Why do I keep my vision focused no further than 2 steps in front of me instead of looking further down the road when I weigh my decisions? I waste time. I have wasted so much of my life away. Even when God has shown me the error of my ways and given me opportunities to straighten my path, I stray again. Like an idiot. A big fat idiot. Why is it that others can see our blind spots, but the one person whom they affect the most, cannot? That’s why they call them blind spots, idiot. If I could see my blind spots they would be called “seeing spots”. Whatever. I’m an idiot.
You know what is really frustrating? When you start to hear friends and family members tell you the same things over and over about yourself, and yet you feel so blind and powerless to change. No, that is not a good feeling at all.
Sometimes I am so willing to give advice to friends or family, but even as I give it, it’s almost as if I am speaking a prophecy of the advice I’m going to need myself within a few days of giving it to someone else. I think maybe if I would keep my mouth shut more often with my friends and instead give myself a lecture every now and then, we’d all be better off.
And lets talk about relationships for a brief minute. Wow, now here’s an area where I am the king and queen of idiots. The screwed-up relationships in my life were the basis I used for my application to the Loser Club that Michelle, Simon and I started. At one point I was even the president due to the fact that I had almost no social life, no money, no career….not to mention all the bad decisions I’d made to help me reach such a highly-esteemed position. I relinquished the position for a while, but I think judging from recent events I may just have the credentials to run for a second term as the Loser Club President. I’m an idiot. For all the brains I’ve got, I’ve done diddly squat with them. I’d trade some of that IQ I like to brag and joke about for some better decision-making skills in life.
Boy, I’m in a bad mood. I reckon I’m going to post this to my blog, but I’m thinking I might have to delete it after a while. This is just too depressing.
posted by wwiiguy at 4:12 PM
12 Comments:
Hey wwiiguy, you're not a loser or an idiot anymore than the rest of us are. Sounds like you're just having a really bad day or a string of them put together. We all go through it--that's not to minimize what you're feeling right now. Hang in there. For what it's worth, I find your blog very interesting and I wish I could be as open and honest as you are about things. It takes courage to admit mistakes and face up to them which is what it sounds like you're doing.
Hang in there buddy! By the way, if you ever feel the need to spout about things you don't feel like posting here in this blog, feel free to contact me. I have a feeling we have a lot in common except that I know I'm not as good a writer as you are! Drop me a private msg and I'll give you my email address if you like. Take care, bro!
Hey #1 Fan, thanks for the words. I needed them today. Sometimes life just seems pretty bleak. It's like I have all these hopes and dreams of what life could be if I'd just get my s**t together. I am my own worst enemy it seems. I guess I should look at the bright side though--at least I'm not "My Own Grandpa". Ever heard that song before?? If not, that line probably makes no sense at all. In that case just ignore it--just one of my weird attempts at humor to dull the pain a bit.
Thanks again for the encouragement. And I just may take you up on your email address sometime :)
Whatever dude. I'm already down in the dumps. Why do you get such a thrill out of putting others down? Well, if it makes you happy, then be my guest.
By the way, you had a couple misspellings in your post. And no, I'm not my own grandfather--it's a reference to a song, but obviously once again, you're a bit out of the loop. And not from Kentucky, but I lived there once....I had a trailer and got divorced while living in it. Guess that means I was trailer trash. Does that make you happy to hear that?? Well, maybe that little tidbit about myself will make you feel better about yourself in some twisted way.
Too bad I'm in such a lousy mood, because I'd probably be laughing at the humor in your comments if I was in a better frame of mind. I guess that means I should somehow thank you for your comments. So, thanks.
Oh by the way, that comment about Kentucky reminds me of a joke:
What do a tornado and a divorce in Kentucky have in common?
In both cases, someone's gonna lose a trailer!
Thanks for reminding me of that Non-fan--that actually brought a smile to my face. You serve a useful purpose to this blog after all :)
Hehe, now I'm really beginning to be glad you stopped by. Your comments keep getting better! I do have one question though--and I'm sure the answer is obvious, but I'm just too stupid to understand what you wrote. You said you used to live in a trailer? And where do you live now? It sounded like in your comment that you live in Bubba's Bar on Saturday nights. What about the other 6 nights of the week??
By the way, no misspellings in that second post--nice job :)
You're killing me wwiiguy! I would've deleted his posts a long time ago, but he doesn't even realize you're making fun of him....good stuff :) Keep it up!
You're right, I am afraid to go to Bubba's. I'd be afraid you or one of your friends might start hitting on me....in the gay way, not in the punching way.
You forgot to have your momma proofread your post. You misspelled a word and left out some apostrophes....forget that second part. That word is probably too many syllables for you.
My sincere thanks to Non-Fan for his comments that made this blog posting all worthwhile. Life isn't so bad after all :)
Wow.....
well, at least you finally posted something new but I turn my head for 2 seconds and you're talking to yourself in the comments again! Give us a little time to get all up in here, would ya?
If there is one thing I know for sure it is that you are NOT an idiot. You are human. It's hard, Shan. It sucks. But it's real and you learn from it and you love from it and you live through it. You are going to make a bunch more mistakes throughout your life but you know what? You're going to do a lot of things right and touch a lot of hearts for the better along the way too.
I don't know exactly what you're going through but I do know that you have friends who think you are pretty okay who you can lean on if you need to.
I thought we had discussed this duel personality thing. You know we all go through tough times. You talked me thru something bad earlier this week. Just know I am your friend and if you need me you know where I am.
Do you read minds? I had the EXACT conversation with my Uncle Brian yesterday that your blog is about! That whole thing about being intelligent yet incurably addicted to bad decisions. Look, I'm sure you read my blog about what I've put myself through these last two years. You are not the king and queen of bad relationships/
decisions. That would be me. Take solace where it resides and quit bashing. Your honesty and transparency alone make you worth knowing. Love ya, WWII Guy. Keep on keepin it real.
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