Sushi and "Whatever"
So, I really needed to be using this blog the last couple weeks, but I’m lazy about it and I always seem to be drawn to less profitable activities than the things I know I really should be doing with my time. Oh well, I’m here now, so lets get rolling with the things that need to be talked about:
I was reminded this past weekend of what an idiot I am when it comes to getting to know the opposite sex. I can be charming, mannerly, cute (how many times have I been described by that word!!??), friendly, blah blah blah when I’m around a girl……..but deep down inside, I’m just an idiot around them. You women scare me. It’s kind of an adrenaline rush to get close to you and get to know one of you, but it’s like skydiving, or alligator wrestling or swimming (water scares me)—you know you’re walking a razor’s edge between the thrill of it all and utter disaster. One false move and BOOM!!!!! It’s all over…well, actually I exaggerate just a bit, but seriously folks, I was reminded of some of my personal incompetencies and left asking myself, “Will I ever be a normal and functional human being??” A few years ago, I actually felt I was making some progress in dealing with some of my idiosyncrasies and learning how to be a good relationship-kind-of-guy. From this past weekend, IT IS SOOOO OBVIOUS—I am rusty and out of practice! Oh man, it’s back to the drawing board and trying to relearn some of those lessons I’d been learning a few years back. Fun fun fun, I just love being single and the whole dating-get-to-know-the-opposite-sex scene. Not. Why can’t the dating scene be simple like flying an airplane or reading about World War Two history??
On another note in regards to the opposite sex, I had one of the hotel clerks where I am staying here in Orlando hit on me. The first time I was like “I think she’s flirting with me.” The next time it happened—this past week—there was no wondering about it. She was—she couldn't have been much more blunt about it—telling me that she’d be interested in stopping by my room sometime for “whatever”. That’s such an innocent sounding word, but she made it clear to me just what “whatever” really was. “Whatever” was something that I haven’t had in a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really long time. REALLY.
Due to the inevitable negative consequences of indiscriminate partaking in of “whatever”, I didn’t and do not plan on ever inviting her up to my room. In fact, I do not plan on imbibing of anymore “whatever” in my life again until if or when I’m remarried……oh, do hope I get married again…..soon…..ugh, it hurts. REALLY.
I like sushi. Sushi is very expensive. I am very poor. After pondering the risks and the rewards for some time now, I decided to do “Shannon’s Poor Man’s Sushi”. I went to the Wal-Mart Super Center yesterday. I bought some frozen salmon filets. I thawed one of them out. I ate it. It was good. I am still alive this morning. I guess it’s safe. YumYum.
This past Wednesday was June 8th, and throughout the day I kept thinking to myself, “It seems like today is supposed to be some sort of important day—like a holiday, or someone’s birthday or anniversary, or something….” The thought nagged me off and on throughout the day but to no avail—I couldn’t think of what it might be. I knew it surely couldn’t be a holiday. We just had Memorial Day and we’re not due for another holiday anytime soon. My brother’s birthday isn’t until June 21st, and I know I wouldn’t screw up his birthdate. I thought of an old girlfriend—Jennifer Scott. I think her birthday might be June 8th, but that wouldn’t be important enough for me to have this strange feeling, so I sensed it had to be something else. Perhaps something WWII related—but no, I’m just thinking of D-Day which was June 6th, not June 8th. I went to bed not solving the mystery in my head. The next morning I woke up and almost immediately it dawned on me: June 8th was my wedding date! I got such a kick out of the fact that I had forgotten my old anniversary! Hilarious! Well, at least to me it was. It just served as a funny illustration of how I have moved on from that time in my life.......a far distant memory.......
Well, those were the pressing things on my mind, especially the sushi story. Everything else was just mindless chatter from a relationship-idiot. It’s raining today and I don’t think I’ll be flying. I know I won’t be flying. So now I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do with my day, besides write in this blog of which I’m almost done doing. Hmmm, what to do, what to do. I could call up hotel desk clerk girl for “whatever”. I’m kidding, I already said there shall be no “whatever” for me! I’m the “Whatever” NAZI. If you aren’t familiar with the world of Seinfeld, just disregard that last sentence, otherwise you might start thinking some weird things about me. I wouldn’t want to change the image you have of me just being a "cute", normal, nice guy.
Yeah, right…she’s thinking.
I was reminded this past weekend of what an idiot I am when it comes to getting to know the opposite sex. I can be charming, mannerly, cute (how many times have I been described by that word!!??), friendly, blah blah blah when I’m around a girl……..but deep down inside, I’m just an idiot around them. You women scare me. It’s kind of an adrenaline rush to get close to you and get to know one of you, but it’s like skydiving, or alligator wrestling or swimming (water scares me)—you know you’re walking a razor’s edge between the thrill of it all and utter disaster. One false move and BOOM!!!!! It’s all over…well, actually I exaggerate just a bit, but seriously folks, I was reminded of some of my personal incompetencies and left asking myself, “Will I ever be a normal and functional human being??” A few years ago, I actually felt I was making some progress in dealing with some of my idiosyncrasies and learning how to be a good relationship-kind-of-guy. From this past weekend, IT IS SOOOO OBVIOUS—I am rusty and out of practice! Oh man, it’s back to the drawing board and trying to relearn some of those lessons I’d been learning a few years back. Fun fun fun, I just love being single and the whole dating-get-to-know-the-opposite-sex scene. Not. Why can’t the dating scene be simple like flying an airplane or reading about World War Two history??
On another note in regards to the opposite sex, I had one of the hotel clerks where I am staying here in Orlando hit on me. The first time I was like “I think she’s flirting with me.” The next time it happened—this past week—there was no wondering about it. She was—she couldn't have been much more blunt about it—telling me that she’d be interested in stopping by my room sometime for “whatever”. That’s such an innocent sounding word, but she made it clear to me just what “whatever” really was. “Whatever” was something that I haven’t had in a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really long time. REALLY.
Due to the inevitable negative consequences of indiscriminate partaking in of “whatever”, I didn’t and do not plan on ever inviting her up to my room. In fact, I do not plan on imbibing of anymore “whatever” in my life again until if or when I’m remarried……oh, do hope I get married again…..soon…..ugh, it hurts. REALLY.
I like sushi. Sushi is very expensive. I am very poor. After pondering the risks and the rewards for some time now, I decided to do “Shannon’s Poor Man’s Sushi”. I went to the Wal-Mart Super Center yesterday. I bought some frozen salmon filets. I thawed one of them out. I ate it. It was good. I am still alive this morning. I guess it’s safe. YumYum.
This past Wednesday was June 8th, and throughout the day I kept thinking to myself, “It seems like today is supposed to be some sort of important day—like a holiday, or someone’s birthday or anniversary, or something….” The thought nagged me off and on throughout the day but to no avail—I couldn’t think of what it might be. I knew it surely couldn’t be a holiday. We just had Memorial Day and we’re not due for another holiday anytime soon. My brother’s birthday isn’t until June 21st, and I know I wouldn’t screw up his birthdate. I thought of an old girlfriend—Jennifer Scott. I think her birthday might be June 8th, but that wouldn’t be important enough for me to have this strange feeling, so I sensed it had to be something else. Perhaps something WWII related—but no, I’m just thinking of D-Day which was June 6th, not June 8th. I went to bed not solving the mystery in my head. The next morning I woke up and almost immediately it dawned on me: June 8th was my wedding date! I got such a kick out of the fact that I had forgotten my old anniversary! Hilarious! Well, at least to me it was. It just served as a funny illustration of how I have moved on from that time in my life.......a far distant memory.......
Well, those were the pressing things on my mind, especially the sushi story. Everything else was just mindless chatter from a relationship-idiot. It’s raining today and I don’t think I’ll be flying. I know I won’t be flying. So now I’ve got to figure out what I’m going to do with my day, besides write in this blog of which I’m almost done doing. Hmmm, what to do, what to do. I could call up hotel desk clerk girl for “whatever”. I’m kidding, I already said there shall be no “whatever” for me! I’m the “Whatever” NAZI. If you aren’t familiar with the world of Seinfeld, just disregard that last sentence, otherwise you might start thinking some weird things about me. I wouldn’t want to change the image you have of me just being a "cute", normal, nice guy.
Yeah, right…she’s thinking.
posted by wwiiguy at 8:27 AM
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