Complaints - Page 1 of 27,000
Alright, so I feel after this morning’s weird journal entry, that I should try to make up for it with a more normal one. Besides, I don’t think I really complained enough in it; I’m sure I can come up with more to gripe about if I try just a little harder.
I’m actually writing this entry in Microsoft Word in my rental car with my company laptop in my friend’s dad’s driveway. I just hope the computer battery doesn’t suddenly go dead before I have a chance to save this. Ooh, that’s a good one—that will be my first complaint. Actually sort of a pre-emptive complaint. I score big points for finding things to complain about before they actually occur. By the way, you may wonder why I’m sitting in somebody’s driveway. While I am in the Norfolk area, my friend Michelle’s father is letting me stay at his house…..MUCHO BETTER than staying in a hotel! Maybe I’ll even break down and go do some grocery shopping. That’s going to require some serious motivation though. In fact, there’s my second complaint—I absolutely hate grocery shopping.
Some people find it enjoyable, but I find the whole process a pain in the butt. Shuffling up and down each aisle, blankly staring at items I am not going to buy. Suddenly finding that once I get to the grocery, every cool food item that I thought to buy during the last three weeks escapes me. Shuffling up and down each aisle again and actually trying to piece together an impromptu menu for the next week or so. Oh, and getting hungrier by the minute….and when I get hungry, I grow indecisive. Most people when they get hungry would probably buy a bunch of extra stuff at the grocery. Me, when I get hungry, I can’t make up my mind what I want, therefore I wander all over the grocery trying to find something—ANYTHING—that looks halfway good enough to eat over the next couple weeks. Ugh, how I hate it! And then once I do finally fill up my cart enough to give myself permission to quit shopping, then I’ve got to go through those stinking checkout lines! And being the cheapo that I usually am, I tend to shop at those mega-Wal-Mart centers where it takes an afternoon stroll just to get back to the refridgerated section to pick up some milk. And the few times that I am able to qualify for the "20 items or less" line—those are the times when someone is writing an out-of-state check or the cashier hits the wrong button, and so it would’ve been better if I would’ve gotten in the "lady with 200 items" line. Man, do I hate grocery shopping. One of these days when I am rich and/or famous, I’m going to hire someone to shop for me. I’ll just give them some money and when they ask what I want at the grocery, I’ll just say, "Surprise me." After all, I’m pretty much a human garbage disposal. Something has to be pretty gross before I will say no and not eat it. Actually, that’s not what I’m going to do at all. Don’t tell anyone, but my secret plan is to get married again someday and then to somehow con my little unsuspecting wifey into doing all our shopping for us....hehehe, yep, she’ll never see it coming until it’s too late.......
Okay, so I beat that item to death, what’s another complaint? Ahh, I’ve got it. I’m going to complain that my friend’s dad hasn’t shown up yet. I suspect the battery will die on me here very soon, and then I am going to be sitting here with nothing to do but wait. Oh, how I have grown tired of waiting over the years. Eeeew (as in the under-your-breath sort of growl one makes when something really ticks them off--kind of the Homer Simpson growl when he gets ticked off), it’s somewhere not too far below grocery shopping on my "Things I hate to do" list. I told him I’d probably not get here till 7 PM, however, the weather wasn’t good for flying so I was actually done with my day by 1:00 or so. I drove around town for a couple hours, and got stuck in traffic—another thing on my "Hate to do" list—and then finally came up here around 4:00. I just want to crash—me that is, not the plane—I am beat. I sure hope he didn’t forget about me. That would suck.
I hate sitting in my car like this, especially when people in the neighborhood walk by or are coming home. I am always paranoid that they are looking at me, wondering what that strange guy is doing just sitting in the neighbor’s driveway.
I know I am dedicating this entry to complaints, but I just have to say that in my little driving excursion around town, I found where the battleship U.S.S. Wisconsin is moored. Or is it "docked"? What’s the difference? I don't know, so if someone can tell me, you win a prize! Woooo what excitement, right!?! Anyway, I found it, and if the weather is non-flying weather like it’s supposed to be, then I’m going to go check it out…that is if I can make it through all the traffic and then find somewhere to park downtown. I hate trying to find a parking spot in a city. When I’m rich and/or famous, I’m going to hire a chauffeur to drive me around. When he asks me where I want to go, I'll just say, "Surprise me." Actually, that’s not really what I’m going to do. Don’t tell anyone, but my secret plan is to get married and then somehow con my wife into doing all the driving. Hehehe......she’ll never see it coming before it’s too late......
I’m actually writing this entry in Microsoft Word in my rental car with my company laptop in my friend’s dad’s driveway. I just hope the computer battery doesn’t suddenly go dead before I have a chance to save this. Ooh, that’s a good one—that will be my first complaint. Actually sort of a pre-emptive complaint. I score big points for finding things to complain about before they actually occur. By the way, you may wonder why I’m sitting in somebody’s driveway. While I am in the Norfolk area, my friend Michelle’s father is letting me stay at his house…..MUCHO BETTER than staying in a hotel! Maybe I’ll even break down and go do some grocery shopping. That’s going to require some serious motivation though. In fact, there’s my second complaint—I absolutely hate grocery shopping.
Some people find it enjoyable, but I find the whole process a pain in the butt. Shuffling up and down each aisle, blankly staring at items I am not going to buy. Suddenly finding that once I get to the grocery, every cool food item that I thought to buy during the last three weeks escapes me. Shuffling up and down each aisle again and actually trying to piece together an impromptu menu for the next week or so. Oh, and getting hungrier by the minute….and when I get hungry, I grow indecisive. Most people when they get hungry would probably buy a bunch of extra stuff at the grocery. Me, when I get hungry, I can’t make up my mind what I want, therefore I wander all over the grocery trying to find something—ANYTHING—that looks halfway good enough to eat over the next couple weeks. Ugh, how I hate it! And then once I do finally fill up my cart enough to give myself permission to quit shopping, then I’ve got to go through those stinking checkout lines! And being the cheapo that I usually am, I tend to shop at those mega-Wal-Mart centers where it takes an afternoon stroll just to get back to the refridgerated section to pick up some milk. And the few times that I am able to qualify for the "20 items or less" line—those are the times when someone is writing an out-of-state check or the cashier hits the wrong button, and so it would’ve been better if I would’ve gotten in the "lady with 200 items" line. Man, do I hate grocery shopping. One of these days when I am rich and/or famous, I’m going to hire someone to shop for me. I’ll just give them some money and when they ask what I want at the grocery, I’ll just say, "Surprise me." After all, I’m pretty much a human garbage disposal. Something has to be pretty gross before I will say no and not eat it. Actually, that’s not what I’m going to do at all. Don’t tell anyone, but my secret plan is to get married again someday and then to somehow con my little unsuspecting wifey into doing all our shopping for us....hehehe, yep, she’ll never see it coming until it’s too late.......
Okay, so I beat that item to death, what’s another complaint? Ahh, I’ve got it. I’m going to complain that my friend’s dad hasn’t shown up yet. I suspect the battery will die on me here very soon, and then I am going to be sitting here with nothing to do but wait. Oh, how I have grown tired of waiting over the years. Eeeew (as in the under-your-breath sort of growl one makes when something really ticks them off--kind of the Homer Simpson growl when he gets ticked off), it’s somewhere not too far below grocery shopping on my "Things I hate to do" list. I told him I’d probably not get here till 7 PM, however, the weather wasn’t good for flying so I was actually done with my day by 1:00 or so. I drove around town for a couple hours, and got stuck in traffic—another thing on my "Hate to do" list—and then finally came up here around 4:00. I just want to crash—me that is, not the plane—I am beat. I sure hope he didn’t forget about me. That would suck.
I hate sitting in my car like this, especially when people in the neighborhood walk by or are coming home. I am always paranoid that they are looking at me, wondering what that strange guy is doing just sitting in the neighbor’s driveway.
I know I am dedicating this entry to complaints, but I just have to say that in my little driving excursion around town, I found where the battleship U.S.S. Wisconsin is moored. Or is it "docked"? What’s the difference? I don't know, so if someone can tell me, you win a prize! Woooo what excitement, right!?! Anyway, I found it, and if the weather is non-flying weather like it’s supposed to be, then I’m going to go check it out…that is if I can make it through all the traffic and then find somewhere to park downtown. I hate trying to find a parking spot in a city. When I’m rich and/or famous, I’m going to hire a chauffeur to drive me around. When he asks me where I want to go, I'll just say, "Surprise me." Actually, that’s not really what I’m going to do. Don’t tell anyone, but my secret plan is to get married and then somehow con my wife into doing all the driving. Hehehe......she’ll never see it coming before it’s too late......
posted by wwiiguy at 7:00 PM
2 Comments:
"Docked" refers to move or come into a dock.
"Moored" is to secure an aircraft or vessel with lines or anchors.
I believe this ship was both docked and moored :)
so what's my prize?????
Oh, and you crack me way up with that pre-emptive complaint. It takes great skill to complain about something that hasn't even happened yet. ;)
Post a Comment
<< Home