All Those Lonely People
I just know I've got a blog entry inside me just trying to get out these last few days, but what it's going to be about I don't know. Did you ever find that there seem to be certain times when you are most effective at writing something creative and meaningful? And then all the other times, your writing efforts just seem to be a colorless "Yesterday I did such and such, and today I'm feeling blah blah blah" sort of monologue? Well, that's what I'm feeling right now. Too bad for you, lol........btw, I have always felt like a little less of a man for using that damned "lol" abbreviation. Everytime I use it, I feel like it's turning one more molecule of my manly body into a goofy-acting, high-pitched squealing-giggling girlie girl. But no one has ever come up with a more masculine way of expressing laughter online or in writing--at least not to my knowledge. If you know of something better, please inform me so I can stop this slow feminifying process that "lol" is working upon my soul.
Well, now that we got that out of the way, lets get to the real meat of this entry....you know, the highly spiritual-philosophical speech that I am just about ready to begin rambling about in this blog. I think today's topic is going to be on loneliness and the hurting people that I see all around me.
I've seen sad, lonely, hurting, suffering people all around me since I was a child. But I think what over the years has gotten me to pay more attention to them is my own hurting and suffering. As I have lived life--some 33, almost 34 years of it--with each passing year, I feel like I've taken another round in the wash cycle of a washing machine. And I'm getting more and more beat up and beat down by it. My body, my emotions, my spirit. And as I get beat, I begin to understand better why all those people around me look so sad, lonely and in pain.
I'm on a job right now in New Jersey and I'm staying in this little town called Millville. I thought New Joisey was just one big concrete block with buildings on it--it's got the highest capita per square mile of any state. But South Joisey is actually full of woodlands and several small town atmospheres like the one I'm in currently. Anyway, beside the point there. What was I saying? Oh, while staying here in Millville, I had to run over to the drugstore to grab a couple things and as I was about ready to pull out of the parking lot to leave, I noticed this kid--actually, he was probably a man. But he looked like a double image of my brother. He was big with the same body build as him, wore those baggy faded blue jeans that my "little" brother likes to wear. He had glasses and a real short buzz cut like Brent. Wore a raggedy ballcap and had that sad, distant far-off look in his eyes. Like there was so much going on inside his head, but no one to talk to about it. Someone who's in need of a friend but has to put on the image of being okay and self-sufficient. I just sat there for a few short seconds staring at him. He was just standing there--I think he must have been waiting for a ride--and there was a part of me that wanted to pull up to him and ask him if he needed a lift. I didn't. He probably didn't need one anyway. But ever since then I have just hurt and ached for that boy, kid, man--whatever the case is.
I have prayed for him. I saw loneliness and isolation in his face. I see it in my brother's. And although I, like most guys, want people to think I'm Mr. Manly-man in need of no help, I probably recognized it in them because I know it personally in myself.
Well, like I said, he was just sort of the straw that broke the camel's back and finally gave me enough ammo in my heart and soul to feel inspired to talk/write about it. But I see people like that all the time. And it's not always just loneliness......wait, yes, it is the loneliness. Because I have seen plenty of people who are suffering physical illnesses, who are sad from some sort of personal loss, who are mistreated, abused, held back by the system or society that I haven't just ached in my heart over their pain. And I think the difference is whether they have someone or someones that they can share their burdens with. With God, with a friend, with some family that they are close to. If they have that, then when you talk with them, you can just tell. There isn't that plaintive look in their eyes.
And yet, I have seen way too many people who are hurting who I just know must keep it all inside themselves because they in fact, don't have anyone to lean on. No partner in life and living. And I'm not talking about a romantic relationship for once. I'm just talking about having someone that you go through life with, kind of like a few good war buddies. Because if you were a big military history nut like me, you'd see that that's what this life is really like: a big war with lots and lots of casualties, too many stinging defeats and too few sweet, sweet victories. A lonely and isolated soldier is ripe for the picking by the enemy. But even a small number of soldiers who are that now worn out phrase--a "band of brothers"--are a tough lot to defeat in battle. Even in death, they may go down with a triumphant look on their faces if they know there buddies are nearby carrying on the good fight. But too few of us have that in life. Or, what some of us may have is the potential for some good war buddies, but we are too lazy or caught up in the bump and grind of life to care enough about watching our friends' backs and asking them to watch ours. And so the lonely one-man pockets of resistance can be found everywhere on life's battlefield.
Wow, once again, I don't know about you, but I impressed myself with that analogy. How poetic and perceptive of me if I do say so myself.....and I do. Yesterday, after about 2, 2 1/2 weeks since my last laundry day, I finally dragged myself to the laundromat--yuck. But I've got to admit, sitting in a laundry mat is preferable to having to go shopping in Wal-Mart or a mall. And before anyone says anything about it--you know who you are--I know I just spelled laundromat two different ways. The reason is, I don't quite know which one is correct. If I spelled it like I say it, then I'd go with "laundry mat", but I believe the technically correct version is "laundromat". Anyway, back to the story--well, it's not really a story so much as an observation--if you ever want to see the down and out of this country, go sit in a laundry mat for an hour or two. You don't see the pretty people of this world. You won't find any secret successes or the answers to how to live a successful life in a laundry mat. You might catch a few clues of things to avoid in life if you don't want to have to end up being a person who's reached such a rock bottom that they cannot even afford a washing machine and dryer of their own and now must walk or drive down the street with bags of dirty clothes and just sit with other losers in life while their clothes and lives go round and round in that wash cycle.....of life.
Actually, besides the occasional feeling of uneasiness I've gotten in a laundry mat if I'm the only white guy in the place, I think I'd prefer being there to some high class party with a bunch of drinking, small-talking, never have enough types. Except that I'd like for the fancy food to be down at the laundromat with me and my friends in low places. I like food....almost any food. But once again, I digress. Those fat, ugly, sometimes drugged-out, twang-in-their-voice, losers in the laundrymat--I can identify with them, at least to a point. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing......
Well, if you were looking for a moral to this story, I'm not sure I have one, unless it's somehow hidden in all that stuff I just wrote up above. Maybe it's that now as I see more and more people who are hurting, well, I don't know. I see them, I hurt for them. I hope eventually God will show me how I can reach out to them. Because I feel for them. I feel and know much of their pain, even though I've got one of those cute faces on the outside and fly a plane for a living. I feel the loneliness and isolation. I hope that maybe God will use my pain and the great blessings that I know He has given me but that so much of the time I take for granted--I hope He will bring me to a point that He can and will reach out to them through me. That somehow, one of these days, He'll overcome my stubborn jackassed ways and be able to somehow through me, reveal Himself as the friend and protector and saviour and--their Everything--that He wants them to awaken to someday. Then they won't be alone anymore. Then I won't be alone anymore. Then we won't be alone anymore.
Oh, and I guess the other moral of this blog entry is that I like food. I really really like food. The end.......really good food.......and even not so good food--I'm not a picky eater.......The end........oh, and did I ever tell you that one of my personal goals in life is to eat as many of God's wonderful creatures with barbecue sauce on them as I can, before I am dead and gone? With the exceptions of cats and dogs because they are my friends. I wouldn't want to eat a friend.........unless I had to--like those soccer guys in South America who crashed in the mountains........then I guess I might eat a friend. Actually I have no doubt in my mind I would.......but not with barbecue sauce because somehow that would just seem disrespectful....though it wouldn't offend me if they put some sort of barbecue or hot sauce on me......okay, now that I've weirded you out or grossed you out, or both.........THE END..........Really
Well, now that we got that out of the way, lets get to the real meat of this entry....you know, the highly spiritual-philosophical speech that I am just about ready to begin rambling about in this blog. I think today's topic is going to be on loneliness and the hurting people that I see all around me.
I've seen sad, lonely, hurting, suffering people all around me since I was a child. But I think what over the years has gotten me to pay more attention to them is my own hurting and suffering. As I have lived life--some 33, almost 34 years of it--with each passing year, I feel like I've taken another round in the wash cycle of a washing machine. And I'm getting more and more beat up and beat down by it. My body, my emotions, my spirit. And as I get beat, I begin to understand better why all those people around me look so sad, lonely and in pain.
I'm on a job right now in New Jersey and I'm staying in this little town called Millville. I thought New Joisey was just one big concrete block with buildings on it--it's got the highest capita per square mile of any state. But South Joisey is actually full of woodlands and several small town atmospheres like the one I'm in currently. Anyway, beside the point there. What was I saying? Oh, while staying here in Millville, I had to run over to the drugstore to grab a couple things and as I was about ready to pull out of the parking lot to leave, I noticed this kid--actually, he was probably a man. But he looked like a double image of my brother. He was big with the same body build as him, wore those baggy faded blue jeans that my "little" brother likes to wear. He had glasses and a real short buzz cut like Brent. Wore a raggedy ballcap and had that sad, distant far-off look in his eyes. Like there was so much going on inside his head, but no one to talk to about it. Someone who's in need of a friend but has to put on the image of being okay and self-sufficient. I just sat there for a few short seconds staring at him. He was just standing there--I think he must have been waiting for a ride--and there was a part of me that wanted to pull up to him and ask him if he needed a lift. I didn't. He probably didn't need one anyway. But ever since then I have just hurt and ached for that boy, kid, man--whatever the case is.
I have prayed for him. I saw loneliness and isolation in his face. I see it in my brother's. And although I, like most guys, want people to think I'm Mr. Manly-man in need of no help, I probably recognized it in them because I know it personally in myself.
Well, like I said, he was just sort of the straw that broke the camel's back and finally gave me enough ammo in my heart and soul to feel inspired to talk/write about it. But I see people like that all the time. And it's not always just loneliness......wait, yes, it is the loneliness. Because I have seen plenty of people who are suffering physical illnesses, who are sad from some sort of personal loss, who are mistreated, abused, held back by the system or society that I haven't just ached in my heart over their pain. And I think the difference is whether they have someone or someones that they can share their burdens with. With God, with a friend, with some family that they are close to. If they have that, then when you talk with them, you can just tell. There isn't that plaintive look in their eyes.
And yet, I have seen way too many people who are hurting who I just know must keep it all inside themselves because they in fact, don't have anyone to lean on. No partner in life and living. And I'm not talking about a romantic relationship for once. I'm just talking about having someone that you go through life with, kind of like a few good war buddies. Because if you were a big military history nut like me, you'd see that that's what this life is really like: a big war with lots and lots of casualties, too many stinging defeats and too few sweet, sweet victories. A lonely and isolated soldier is ripe for the picking by the enemy. But even a small number of soldiers who are that now worn out phrase--a "band of brothers"--are a tough lot to defeat in battle. Even in death, they may go down with a triumphant look on their faces if they know there buddies are nearby carrying on the good fight. But too few of us have that in life. Or, what some of us may have is the potential for some good war buddies, but we are too lazy or caught up in the bump and grind of life to care enough about watching our friends' backs and asking them to watch ours. And so the lonely one-man pockets of resistance can be found everywhere on life's battlefield.
Wow, once again, I don't know about you, but I impressed myself with that analogy. How poetic and perceptive of me if I do say so myself.....and I do. Yesterday, after about 2, 2 1/2 weeks since my last laundry day, I finally dragged myself to the laundromat--yuck. But I've got to admit, sitting in a laundry mat is preferable to having to go shopping in Wal-Mart or a mall. And before anyone says anything about it--you know who you are--I know I just spelled laundromat two different ways. The reason is, I don't quite know which one is correct. If I spelled it like I say it, then I'd go with "laundry mat", but I believe the technically correct version is "laundromat". Anyway, back to the story--well, it's not really a story so much as an observation--if you ever want to see the down and out of this country, go sit in a laundry mat for an hour or two. You don't see the pretty people of this world. You won't find any secret successes or the answers to how to live a successful life in a laundry mat. You might catch a few clues of things to avoid in life if you don't want to have to end up being a person who's reached such a rock bottom that they cannot even afford a washing machine and dryer of their own and now must walk or drive down the street with bags of dirty clothes and just sit with other losers in life while their clothes and lives go round and round in that wash cycle.....of life.
Actually, besides the occasional feeling of uneasiness I've gotten in a laundry mat if I'm the only white guy in the place, I think I'd prefer being there to some high class party with a bunch of drinking, small-talking, never have enough types. Except that I'd like for the fancy food to be down at the laundromat with me and my friends in low places. I like food....almost any food. But once again, I digress. Those fat, ugly, sometimes drugged-out, twang-in-their-voice, losers in the laundrymat--I can identify with them, at least to a point. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing......
Well, if you were looking for a moral to this story, I'm not sure I have one, unless it's somehow hidden in all that stuff I just wrote up above. Maybe it's that now as I see more and more people who are hurting, well, I don't know. I see them, I hurt for them. I hope eventually God will show me how I can reach out to them. Because I feel for them. I feel and know much of their pain, even though I've got one of those cute faces on the outside and fly a plane for a living. I feel the loneliness and isolation. I hope that maybe God will use my pain and the great blessings that I know He has given me but that so much of the time I take for granted--I hope He will bring me to a point that He can and will reach out to them through me. That somehow, one of these days, He'll overcome my stubborn jackassed ways and be able to somehow through me, reveal Himself as the friend and protector and saviour and--their Everything--that He wants them to awaken to someday. Then they won't be alone anymore. Then I won't be alone anymore. Then we won't be alone anymore.
Oh, and I guess the other moral of this blog entry is that I like food. I really really like food. The end.......really good food.......and even not so good food--I'm not a picky eater.......The end........oh, and did I ever tell you that one of my personal goals in life is to eat as many of God's wonderful creatures with barbecue sauce on them as I can, before I am dead and gone? With the exceptions of cats and dogs because they are my friends. I wouldn't want to eat a friend.........unless I had to--like those soccer guys in South America who crashed in the mountains........then I guess I might eat a friend. Actually I have no doubt in my mind I would.......but not with barbecue sauce because somehow that would just seem disrespectful....though it wouldn't offend me if they put some sort of barbecue or hot sauce on me......okay, now that I've weirded you out or grossed you out, or both.........THE END..........Really
posted by wwiiguy at 7:00 PM
10 Comments:
Wow, excellent insight you've shown into the eyes of human suffering! I have been reading your blog for quite a while now--actually since you first started it--and I've just got to say, I think you are one of the best writers I have ever met on this website! Well, of course, it's not like I keep up with many others....uhh, it's actually just you and one other person's blog--some chick who calls herself Melly--and she's good too. So, maybe it's like you and her are both really good writers, sort of a two-way tie for first place. But don't let that detract from my compliment. I'm sure that even if I read 27,000 other blogs, yours would be right up there in first place still!
I'm just curious where you get your ideas from though??? I mean, first your writing about the face of human suffering and loneliness--next thing I know you're talking about eating people with barbecue sauce!!! Did I read that correctly??? What's up with that?!?
Well, I guess geniusness (is that a word?) does have it's weird side as well as it's brilliant side :) Take care wwiiguy, and keep up the great entries!
Hey #1 Fan,
Thanks for the compliments (I think?!). You know, #1 Fan, I honestly don't know where my ideas come from....if I did, I'd be rich by now. Actually, I probably wouldn't, but the phrase sounds good at least. Anyway, I really don't know where they come from except my own personal experiences and the occasional flash of creativity. Actually #1 Fan, I could see a bit of that same writing genius in your own comment that you left--why don't you give blogging a try? You just might find yourself as interesting as I find myself :)
Finally, two other things. First of all, I do hate to correct my "#1 Fan", but you did seem to be asking a question: no, "geniusness" is not a word. The proper word would be "genius". You see, the word "genius" can actually be used as a term for both a very very smart person, or in characterizing a person's brilliant intellect. Two examples of usage to illustrate: 1. That man is a genius! 2. That man's genius astounds me! See the difference? I hope that clarifies things a bit.
Secondly, if you read my blog a little more closely, #1 Fan, you will see that I wasn't saying I'd eat my friends with barbecue sauce. I was saying that if I found myself in the same sort of bind as those soccer guys from South America who crashed in the Andes Mountains and were stranded for something like months before they were rescued--in that case, I have almost no doubt that I'd do what they did and eat human meat in order to survive. Not with barbecue sauce though! I would feel I was somehow disrespecting them....unless of course, they gave me prior approval, which might be a difficult subject to bring up while still alive (Hey Joe, uhh, I was wondering when--Uuuhhh, I mean IF--if you die--would you feel it an insult if, uhhh, I used a little hot sauce on you?? Hypothetically speaking of course!) But I did say, that if I was the one being eaten, I wouldn't take it as an insult if they put barbecue or hot sauce on me before eating! See the difference? I hope so, otherwise, you just might think I'm a freak.
And I wouldn't want my #1 Fan thinking that, now would I?? Anyway, take care #1 Fan. By the way, where are you from and what do you do besides read my blog? You sound like a pretty cool guy yourself!
Wow, first of all, let me just say that I am impressed that my blog has evoked such strong emotion from one of my readers!
But now, let me respond to some of your comments. Judging from what you said, I'm spit-balling here, but I'd guess your level of genius is more on the level of "Hannibal" than the book and movie, "Alive". I'm not even going to try and explain my views on the whole subject of cannibalism as I can see that no matter what I say you're going to misinterpret it. You seem to be one of those people that hears certain topics brought up and just jump to conclusions and then never hear a thing the other person is saying. I will only say this: my comments were meant to be a grim mixture of humor and personal speculation on what I'd do if thrown into a life-threatening situation such as the one documented in the story, "Alive", which I've now referred to about 27 times. BTW (by the way), you might want to check out the book or rent the movie by that name and broaden your horizons a little bit. And one other thing, I suspect you might be surprised to know that there is a much more famous, or infamous "Hannibal" than the "Hannibal Lecter" you are probably familiar with. You might want to check out a history book too one of these days....
Next, in regard to your comments on "fat, ugly, and laundry mat patrons", I'm just going to have to go with the assumption that you have no clue as to what my point was. Of course, I'm not sure I know either, but it certainly wasn't to insult anyone. You seem to be the kind of reader who isn't too good at inferring hidden meanings or innuendos, so I'll just tell you, I was placing myself in that large segment of society that some would call the losers in life. Not an insult, just an observation. But of course, I shouldn't expect you to be able to distinguish the two. What I said was not meant to be an insult to anyone who has gone to, does go to, or will go to a laundromat (notice how I am using the two spellings interchangeably). I am one of those people in case you didn't notice that from my entry. That would be too much to expect from you, apparently.
Lastly, it doesn't really matter to me one way or the other whether you read my blog or not. Of course, your entry did evoke this response from me, didn't it? Actually I found your comments entertaining, and if nothing else, you do help reiterate the theory of an old college buddy of mine: "Everybody is an idiot."
So long #1 non-fan or whatever your name is. BTW (by the way), original name you have there. I just wonder how you came up with it?? :)
Hehe, I'm beginning to like you non-fan! But of course, not as much as my other readers--I enjoy hearing from them much more than you; but still, you do have entertainment value.
Thank you for pointing out to me just where you got your name from. The similarities between your two names must have slipped my notice.
As for Hannibal, close but no cigar for you. Although I am far from being an expert on early European history, I do know that Hannibal united many people in I believe Eastern and Northern Europe and nearly brought about the collapse of the Roman Empire. He stopped short of this, however, when he made peace with the Empire instead of ransacking (destroying in a fun way) the city of Rome. The rest of the details I will leave for you to find out when you read a history book about him.
And lastly, "DUMBA****" should have 2 astericks, not 4......
Oh, and you misspelled "observant" :)
Wow, such hostility! Well, thank you for pointing that out to me. You really got me good with that misspelling. Have a nice day!
Wow, it takes a lot of guts to criticize someone else's blog by posting rude comments.
Funny how your #1 non-fan didn't have the balls to link back to his own blog.
Some wacked ass people just have way too much time on their hands.
WWII Guy, I loved this entry, from heart-felt start to random-thought finish. The comments posted by the "non-fan" were amusing, but your responses were hilarious! I, too, think that BBQ sauce would be somewhat disrespectful, but only if its an acquaintance. If you don't know the guy you are eating, you could make up all sorts of bad things about him while you eat that appeases the slight guilt for dousing his calf muscle with Kansas City's best. I'm absolutely with you...BBQ sauce tastes delicious on everything. The best BBQ I've ever eaten was in Shreveport, LA. Yum.
As for loneliness, I think it is the number one thing that haunts people today. But don't get me started on that. I could go on and on. Suffice it to say that you are right on with your comments, especially about wanting to help them find God. I believe God is really the only cure for loneliness there is. But, a good buddy or a lover helps. Especially if it is one and the same person. Not that I've experienced it yet, but I've heard tell of just such a thing roaming about the countryside.
No, I thought sex was the cure for all the world's ills??? Oh wait a minute, don't mind anything I say right now--I think I'm in the throes of the male 3-day cycle you mentioned in another one of your comments.
I think sex will solve most problems--loneliness, money, common cold, when you smash your finger or big toe, inter-personal conflicts, needing a nicer car, wanting a better job, being sleepy but you can't get to sleep, not being sleepy but you need to get to sleep, greed, violence, war, hunger, famine, disease, etc.
Oh wait, don't listen to anything I say right now....I think I'm in the throes of the male 3-day cycle. Hey, what is the more technical medical term of this cycle anyway? If women have PMS, I think guys need to have a cool name for their cycle.
I have to say... I think your #1 fan and your #1 non-fan were both YOU wwiiguy.
I think you were cracking yourself up having a grand old time arguing with yourself... and I was cracking up too :-)
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