Pre-Lit Up Ceremonies
Okay, boys—well, actually girls—it’s Saturday night, I didn’t have to have to fly yesterday or today, and I’m a’celebratin’. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit. I think it’s really kind of hard to be partying it up in an obscure hotel in a small town in South Joisey. But, in honor of trying to make the most of this Saturday night, I did buy me a couple bottles of really good German and British Beers and some Taco Bell…the stuff that fine dining is made of. I can feel the anticipation building here in this hotel room of mine! Whew! Oh, and I mustn’t forget the NASCAR race that’s about to start! What a party I’ll be having tonight!
Actually, to tell the truth, if I don’t remember that God is right here in this room with me, I may be writing another entry later on tonight sobbing in my beer over how lonely I am, blah, blah, blah….But I’m trying to remember that I truly believe in the deep part of my heart that this really is where He wants me right now. Unlike how I did down in Florida, I don’t want to fight Him on this anymore. He’s been putting me in these seemingly isolated situations for several years now—He’s obviously trying to get some sort of meaningful lessons through my thick skull. I’m tired of being held back a grade because I refuse to learn whatever it is He’s wanting me to learn. Down in Florida, I kept telling Him how lonely I was and how I wanted to be back in good ol’ Cincy. I whined and complained and griped my way through 2 ½ years of living down there. My inclination now is to whine and gripe and complain, but I’m really trying to go with God on this one for once.
Do I want to be in Cincy? Do I want a relationship again after what seems like forever? Do I want to be married and have some kids one of these days? Do I want to have sex again? Do I want to have a flying job where I will be based back home? How about a house? How about a better financial situation? Better relationships with my family members? A big “HELL YES!!!” to all of these things. But I’ve just got to remember that whatever it is He’s doing right now, He’s doing it for my good, not to hurt me.
It’s sad that we grow up with so many faulty ideas about God, but we do. I have to constantly be reminding myself of what the Bible says about His love and passion for us. If I forget, then I very quickly fall for the lies such as “He loves me, but not all crazy-like…..He loves me in a more distant way.” Or, “He loves me and He forgives me of my sins and mistakes, but He’s not really pleased with who you are—He’s actually disappointed in what you’ve become.” The lies we fall victim to are those poisonous ones that are mixed with a lot of truth to better camouflage them as they enter our souls. If Satan tried to tell me that God hated me, or that He wants to see some of us burn in Hell forever, well I think I could laugh those off and move on with life…..Okay, well, somewhere along the way, I forgot my whole point to this speech. Anyway, I’m here in my room by myself—no, with God—and I’m trying to remember He loves me. He wants me like no other wants me. He cares about what I’m feeling on this Saturday night so far from friends and family.
Wow, all that, and I’m not even lit up yet. Not had a sip of beer or a bite of Taco Bell and I’m spouting off. Personally, I think this entry would be more interesting if I did have a bit of beer in me. Maybe I’ll do a post-Lit up entry so my reading audience can decide which is more interesting. I’m thinking those beers have had enough time to get cold in the mini-fridge. Now, if I can just figure out a way to open them up without a bottle opener. This should be interesting. I’m going to have to be creative…..perhaps the bathtub spout-ma-thingie will make a good opener….there’s always the option of prying it off with a key but then you run the risk of breaking the key, and that would definitely suck…..could go up to the front desk and ask if they have an opener I could use—no way, I hate asking for help…..if I can’t think of a way to open them up, then I guess I just don’t deserve them……well, don’t you all worry, I won’t disappoint you, I’ll find a way…….now if I just had a bit of beer in me already, I could be more creative with trying to find a way to open them….what a paradox………
Actually, to tell the truth, if I don’t remember that God is right here in this room with me, I may be writing another entry later on tonight sobbing in my beer over how lonely I am, blah, blah, blah….But I’m trying to remember that I truly believe in the deep part of my heart that this really is where He wants me right now. Unlike how I did down in Florida, I don’t want to fight Him on this anymore. He’s been putting me in these seemingly isolated situations for several years now—He’s obviously trying to get some sort of meaningful lessons through my thick skull. I’m tired of being held back a grade because I refuse to learn whatever it is He’s wanting me to learn. Down in Florida, I kept telling Him how lonely I was and how I wanted to be back in good ol’ Cincy. I whined and complained and griped my way through 2 ½ years of living down there. My inclination now is to whine and gripe and complain, but I’m really trying to go with God on this one for once.
Do I want to be in Cincy? Do I want a relationship again after what seems like forever? Do I want to be married and have some kids one of these days? Do I want to have sex again? Do I want to have a flying job where I will be based back home? How about a house? How about a better financial situation? Better relationships with my family members? A big “HELL YES!!!” to all of these things. But I’ve just got to remember that whatever it is He’s doing right now, He’s doing it for my good, not to hurt me.
It’s sad that we grow up with so many faulty ideas about God, but we do. I have to constantly be reminding myself of what the Bible says about His love and passion for us. If I forget, then I very quickly fall for the lies such as “He loves me, but not all crazy-like…..He loves me in a more distant way.” Or, “He loves me and He forgives me of my sins and mistakes, but He’s not really pleased with who you are—He’s actually disappointed in what you’ve become.” The lies we fall victim to are those poisonous ones that are mixed with a lot of truth to better camouflage them as they enter our souls. If Satan tried to tell me that God hated me, or that He wants to see some of us burn in Hell forever, well I think I could laugh those off and move on with life…..Okay, well, somewhere along the way, I forgot my whole point to this speech. Anyway, I’m here in my room by myself—no, with God—and I’m trying to remember He loves me. He wants me like no other wants me. He cares about what I’m feeling on this Saturday night so far from friends and family.
Wow, all that, and I’m not even lit up yet. Not had a sip of beer or a bite of Taco Bell and I’m spouting off. Personally, I think this entry would be more interesting if I did have a bit of beer in me. Maybe I’ll do a post-Lit up entry so my reading audience can decide which is more interesting. I’m thinking those beers have had enough time to get cold in the mini-fridge. Now, if I can just figure out a way to open them up without a bottle opener. This should be interesting. I’m going to have to be creative…..perhaps the bathtub spout-ma-thingie will make a good opener….there’s always the option of prying it off with a key but then you run the risk of breaking the key, and that would definitely suck…..could go up to the front desk and ask if they have an opener I could use—no way, I hate asking for help…..if I can’t think of a way to open them up, then I guess I just don’t deserve them……well, don’t you all worry, I won’t disappoint you, I’ll find a way…….now if I just had a bit of beer in me already, I could be more creative with trying to find a way to open them….what a paradox………
posted by wwiiguy at 8:20 PM
2 Comments:
I admire the way you are able to identify how God is speaking to you with the isolation thing. I hope you can embrace this opportunity while you are away to see the country and have great new experiences.
BTW...seeing the country and having great new experiences won't happen while you are scarfing down booze and taco bell in a hotel room ;)
You are sooo right! Unfortunately, this job leaves extremely little time for sightseeing. Besides, I do get to see quite a bit from the air when I'm on the job. I flew past the famous Boardwalk at 3000' last week. Not quite being there on ground level, but certainly less crowded from my vantage point.
So, barring the sightseeing, a good beer, some Taco Bell, and a good show or movie on TV makes a nice secondary way to bide my time on the road :)
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