I Need To Get Away

Well, I’ve been unemployed now for about 2 weeks and it’s become very old. Because of that stupid $500/month school loan for my flight training, I think it got old on about Day 1 or 2. I’ve really been in a funk. I’m trying to find work besides flying for the next couple months so I can at least be around here to enjoy the Summer, my kitten, and my garden. Just get me to the Fall and I’ll be ready to head off for a couple months of training at a new flying job. Don’t know if things will work out that way though. Been looking at some ways to make money from home on the internet. So far, nothing has actually turned into a moneymaker though.

I’m going camping for a few days starting tomorrow. I was going to go today, but I was too slow and unmotivated about getting my gear together. Well, I’ve got all day today to get my pack packed and Brent will help me get some good food together. I’m planning on doing that 30-mile loop trail around East Fork Lake. I’ll take at least 3 days and 2 nights and quite possibly 4/3. I just need to get out away from this life for a while. Get fresh air, be around the trees and water, hear the animal sounds, the wind, the blue sky, maybe even some rain. I need to feel the dirt on my body, the sweat, make fire, burn myself a few times while playing with the campfire. I need to talk to God, get quiet for a change so that I can hear Him speaking to me. I need to get away from my loneliness, my anxieties over bills, career, my desire for a companion in this life, my desire for children.

I’ve not been a good friend lately. I’ve not been a good Christian; actually, I’ve been ignoring Him for the most part, and I’m not even sure why. I’ve not been good to myself. I believe God has given me a vision for what my future could be and it is really good. But I just seem to continue to botch things up with my impatience and laziness. This year was and still is my year to make some big breakthroughs and changes. I’ve had several things not quite go as planned, but this year can still be a good one in terms of who I become as a man and God’s child.

Well, I think this enough venting. Even though I’m not motivated to get my gear packed, I’m ready to get out in the woods for a few days and nights. Maybe I’ll even have a few scares out there—that’d be fun!