The Rise & Fall of Western Civilization

I’ve been feeling the need for a long time now to write about a social trend that has been developing in recent years. It has grown out of the explosion and profusion (is that the right word?) of the cell phone in almost all parts of our society. You see people using them for work, family, recreation, etc. I am even seeing more and more kids with them, and at a younger and younger age! It just amazes me how as recently as a decade ago, most people didn’t feel this urgent need to always be connected to the world, and now people don’t know how they’d live without a cell.

Because of this cultural connection explosion, it has become necessary for businesses, churches, social gatherings to lay down guidelines for cell phone usage. At my job, they make it clear you are not allowed to even have your cell phone out in the open. Not just because of the distraction of it ringing, but also, it is conceivable that someone might use the camera on many of today’s cell phones and take pictures of confidential information and disseminate it. At my church, they often have a little reminder on the projector to set all cell phones to “stun”, a little play on Star Trek lingo to tactfully remind people to turn off their cell phones during services. It still doesn’t work. It seems there’s always one person out of a hundred or a thousand that has their cell go off in the middle of a service or during the course of the workday.

Also because of this connectivity crisis, people - myself included - now think they must make productive use of their drive time by talking to all the people they haven’t bothered to talk to during the rest of the day or week. I guess we don’t consider it productive enough to just keep our attention on the road, avoid accidents, and get ourselves home safely.

These things are annoying enough, but neither of these issues is the social crisis I see facing us as a result of the proliferation of the cell phone. What really, really aggravates me nowadays is going into the john and having to listen to some schmoe have a conversation with his girlfriend or buddy or business partner! It used to be that a restroom was a place to escape from the hustle and bustle of the world for a few moments, besides being a place to drain the last beer or glass of water.

Used to be that if you were on an awkward date or with a group of people you weren’t clicking with or just needed to take an unofficial 15-minute break at work, you could go to the bathroom and hang out for a few minutes to regain your senses. Now that temporary oasis in the middle of a sea of social insanity is being interrupted by the jerk who decides he needs to make better use of his bathroom time. It was bad enough that our roads were made more unsafe by the cell phone; now not even the men's room is safe!

I guess it’s not good enough to just concentrate on making it into the urinal or the toilet so the next guy doesn’t have to see a slimy, nasty mess all over the place when he follows behind you to use the facilities. Is it not good enough that you’re just having a moment’s peace and quiet while taking a dump?!? Do you have to “soil” the solitude by talking on your damned cell phone?? Do you really think that if the other person knew you were in the crapper, they’d want to be talking to you??? I think not.

When I am in the men’s restroom and hear someone on their cell phone, it makes me want to do my business as loudly as possible and then flush the toilet 27 times in a row just to interrupt their "important" conversation. I’ve never done that, but now that I’ve mentioned it, I think I will the next time --it happens. So let it be written, so let it be done! I am declaring a personal war against anyone who uses their cell phone in the john!

I ask you, what has our world, our society degraded to, when we can’t even have a moment’s peace while we answer nature’s call? I tell you, it is surely a sign that civilization is on the decline...